The date was February 14, in the year of our Lord, 270. The place Rome. The prisoner Saint Valentine held a parchment missive before him. It had been signed and sealed by Emperor Claudius II himself, known as “Claudius the Cruel.” But now its offer was moot. The choice before him had been stark, but simple. Renounce Christ and worship Claudius and the Romans gods and live, at least for an unspecified number of years until some other form of death claimed him, or face beating, stoning and then beheading.

The prospect of the latter fate was not at all appealing. But beyond the suffering waited the welcoming arms of his Savior. The former choice might gain him temporary reprieve, but then what? He reflected upon the events that had landed him in his predicament.

It all began with the emperor’s decree, forbidding marriage in the Roman Empire. It was permissible to have women for recreation, but not for marriage. In the emperor’s mind, marriage turned men’s hearts away from soldiering, and he needed soldiers to keep his empire intact. But to Valentine, no man had the right to forbid marriage. “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” (Hebrews 13:4)

And so, as a priest, he secretly continued to perform marriages for young couples in love. Inevitably, he was caught. Hence his imprisonment and current situation.

While in prison he had met his jailer Asterius, who was impressed with his wisdom and the love he practiced toward his fellow prisoners. He had also healed some of the prisoners who were sick due to a combination of faith and his healing arts as a physician.

Asterius had a blind daughter named Julia who wasn’t doing well in her schooling. He asked Valentine to be her teacher. When he agreed, she came to him a number of times. He read to her the lessons she could not see. In the process they became friends. Somewhere along the way he also healed Julia of her blindness after placing his hands upon her eyes.

So impressed and grateful was Asterius that he became a Christian. He smashed the idols in his house, fasted for three days and was baptized, along with his entire household.

Then came the offer of clemency from Emperor Claudius. But Valentine instead urged the emperor to place his faith in Christ. So enraged was Claudius with Valentine’s response that he sentenced him to die, via the threefold method.

Resolute in his determination to remain faithful to Christ to the end, Valentine scrawled a final message to his friend Julia, whom he knew could now read for herself. In it he encouraged the young girl to stay close to Christ. Upon finishing the letter, he signed it “Your Valentine.” Soon afterward he went to his death.

Such is the legend of Saint Valentine as best it can be reconstructed from 1,751 or so years of distance. That the man lived, was martyred in Rome on a February 14, and wrote that final letter is all upon what most historians agree. There are variations of the above story, but the gist is most likely true. No other name of the man is known.

What do we learn from this story? Marriage, which began in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve, is an institution ordained by God to be a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman. As such, no man has the right to forbid what God has ordained.

But marriage is one thing. Staying married for life is another. The rest of this is for you, guys. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her.” Ephesians 5:25

Do something kind and self-sacrificial for your wives this coming Valentine’s Day. Better yet, do something like that every day of the year for her. Women blossom when they are loved, but wither when they aren’t.

As for those of us who follow Christ, would we make the same decision Saint Valentine made? Jesus said, “He who has found his life shall lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake shall find it.” Matthew 10:39

Quite honestly, I don’t know what I would do if faced with such a choice. I hope I would remain true. What I do know is that every day we face that same choice in smaller things between dying to ourselves, or sacrificing ourselves instead for our wives and for others.